


A Series of Firsts

by Tandy



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Fluff with Sap on the side.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:06:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6071530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tandy/pseuds/Tandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben (or is it Ren?) and Rey sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love and then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.   </p><p>A story told in firsts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Series of Firsts

First Meeting

The armor is heavy and unfamiliar as Rey makes her way through the finalizer. Finn is next to her, equally attired as a trooper, but feeling jittery and conspicuous despite his dehumanizing uniform. He’s breathing hard through his helmet, and Rey can’t even imagine what he must be going through.

“We’re almost there,” she whispers as low as she can.

He nods slightly.

They’re on a rescue mission. Their informant, an unknown source who had given them valuable information had suddenly gone dark. It could only mean one thing. He or she had been found out.  Best case scenario they were captured but still alive.

It was a gamble. One that the leadership hadn’t wanted to take. But Finn had argued passionately, feeling a link to this unknown individual who was risking everything to help the resistance.  Rey had backed him up. Luke had stepped up as well, speaking of loyalty and the ways of the force. How could they use this person for their own gain and leave him or her to suffer at the hands of their enemy?

They at least had to try.

The easy part was done. The resistance had hacked the ship’s system and found five people being kept in the holding cells. One with no name and no charges. Finn had hooted in joy. It had to be the informant. Had to be.

So now here they were, surrounded by people that would kill them if given the chance, wearing stolen and ill-fitting armor, trying to act as naturally as possible. Thanks to her increased skill utilizing the force and Finn’s knowledge about troop behaviour there hadn’t been any mishaps. Yet.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Rey says as they enter the wing where the holding cells are located. It’s dark and dank and there’s something in the air that makes her skin crawl.

Finn pays her no mind, intent on finding cell number OS-236. They need to do this and fast. The longer they remain the more likely their presence would be noted.  He motions with his hand. He has found the cell.

He keeps watch as she works on the locking mechanism. It only takes her a minute to open it. She steps in hurriedly, trying to see a person in the dark room. Once she does, she stops, aghast at what she sees before her.

He’s hanging by his long arms, his hands shackled to the ceiling, his knees bent listlessly, his hair a matted greasy mess that covers half his face, the remaining half is bruised and covered with blood. He’s also not moving. But Rey knows, knows the lanky frame and the low energy that is discernible even as weak as he is.

It’s Kylo Ren.

He’s the informant.

“Hurry!” comes the harsh whisper from the door.

“Finn!”

He peeks his head in at the sound of her distressed tone. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust, for him to notice the black-clad figure hanging limply.  “Is he alive?”

“Yes.”

“Wake him. Proceed as planned.”

Rey bites her lips beneath the helmet.  

“Hurry,” Finn repeats.

She has the urge to just leave him, let him rot for his sins. But he starts moving, moaning in pain. He’s the informant, she tells herself. It changes nothing. He had risked everything to provide information and was now paying the price for it.

“Wake up,” she says, getting closer to him. She grabs onto a shoulder to  shake him roughly. “Wake up!”

One eye snaps open, the other is swollen shut. “You’re an odd little storm trooper.”

“It’s me.” She takes her helmet off. “Rey. I’m here to rescue you.”

He actually laughs, or tries too, as he is wracked by coughs that make him spit blood.

“Can you stand?”

“Leave me.”

“Can you stand?”

“Leave me,” he says closing his eyes, his frame still hanging limply, like a puppet with its strings cut.

“Don’t doubt that I will drag you out by the hair if necessary,” Rey growls at him. “Now can you stand or not?”

He looks strangely at her, as if he can’t quite comprehend what's happening. He blinks at her several times. “Yes.”

“Okay. Do it.”

He stumbles to his feet in a painfully slow movement. Rey catches him at his waist when he wobbles on his feet.  “Leave me,” he repeats for the third time.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up,” she says through clenched teeth, placing her helmet back on her head. “Just do as I say.”

She places hand restrains on his battered wrists. He’s one giant bruise, no inch of him that doesn’t have blood or bruises.

“This is the plan? The prisoner gag?” he asks in disbelief.

It might have worked had the prisoner not been Kylo Ren.  It had never occurred to anyone that it might be him. It was beyond the realm of possibility. Except, of course it wasn’t. He stood a head taller than her, weak but somehow still formidable, Rey was doubtful that they could keep up the charade for very long. Which meant they had to act fast.

“What did I say? Shut up.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“What do you care?”

He quiets at that and lets her lead him out, hands behind him as she grabs onto his arm for the appearance of control but mostly because she fears he’ll topple at any moment.  Finn takes his other arm once they’re in the hallway.

“FN-2187,” he says, his words slow.

“The name’s Finn.”

“This is quite surprising,” he says softly, as if he can’t quite believe what’s happening. Maybe he thinks he’s hallucinating.  No doubt the abuse had been not only physical but mental as well.

They need to get to the escape pods. Need to do it soon, because they’re starting to attract a lot of notice and there’s only so much she can do with the force.  Ren walks complacently between them, looking, Rey thinks, rather amused at the whole thing.

“This way,” he says, turning down a hallway, and somehow he’s still strong enough that Rey and Finn get pulled along with him.

“Where are you taking us?” Rey has a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that she and Finn had been lured by this monster into a trap.

“Trust me,” he says looking down at her.

She sputters. Is he fucking with her?

Soon they’re walking into a hallway which is empty of troopers. He sets a code into a door and it slides open into a hangar area. Unlike the larger hangar area where most of the TIE fighters were housed, this one is smaller, and has bigger, more luxurious ships. It’s also blessedly devoid of activity.

“Would you like to go back to the main halls?”he asks, his tone mocking, and even his bruised face can’t hide the snarling arrogance of this man.

Rey frowns at him.

Too late she senses two troopers incoming into the hangar, a shot is fired and she reaches for her saber to block it. She doesn’t get a chance, as Ren pushes her behind him roughly. Rey hears a scream as a trooper is sent crashing into a wall. Rey struggles to lock onto the remaining  trooper, but it’s hard when Ren is keeping her behind him with the use of the force in an odd combination of light and dark.    

Rey _feels_ the impact of the shot against his body. She struggles to catch him before he falls, fails and both topple on the floor as Finn finally takes the shooter out.  Her hands instantly go to his wound to try to staunch the bleeding in his torso.

“It’s okay,” he tells her grimacing. “Leave me.”

“Would you shut up about that! We’re not leaving you.”  She should. There’s a part of her that wants to. But he’s the informant. He’s been helping them and she can’t just abandon him. Especially not now, not while he looks so broken. Not after looking into his eyes and seeing a glimpse of the man he might have been. That he could still become.

“It’s nice to you meet you, Ben Solo,” she says.

His eye, one was swollen shut, widens in indignation. “Ben Solo is dead.”

“I wouldn’t be so certain,” she tells him softly.

“He’s still conscious?” Finn asks in amazement.

“Barely,” she answers, her eyes on his dark ones. They’re locked on hers defiantly, and he is seething at the name she called him, but strangely, she still feels the glimmer of light inside of him.

Finn tries to lift him. “Fucker weighs more than he looks,” he says, hefting him onto his shoulder.  Rey takes his other side, still clutching at his wounded chest, and the three stumble into the closest ship. Once inside, Ren’s head lolls back, finally succumbing to unconsciousness.  

 

First Conversation

_Ow! Owww!_

Rey is wearing a busted old helmet that she can’t see out of, a lightsaber in hand as a small training droid shoots bursts of electricity at her. It's one of the exercises that she fails miserably at.  Another shot stings her arm, and she bats at where she thinks the droid is in frustration.

A soft noise that sounds like amusement distracts her, causing another annoying sting on her hand.

She focuses on her surroundings, warming when she recognizes a familiar energy.

_Hi Ren._

She can feel him startle at her slight intrusion. It’s the first time she’s reached out to him like this. Keeping Kylo Ren out of her head had become second nature to her, and to him as well, she supposes as he skims the edges of her energy, inspecting curiously.

_Having fun watching me get my ass kicked by a droid?_

_Yes._

He admits it readily but she can tell it surprises him.

_Left._

_What?_

Owwwwwwww!   _Does this thing up its intensity or what the hell?_

He can feel him to her side, looming. He likes to do that, loom, she had noticed. He moves around her, and she gets preoccupied with sensing him instead of the droid, so she gets another couple of shocks for her lack of focus.

_Have any suggestions for me?_

“I don’t think I’m the adequate person for handing out suggestions,” he says out loud. Suddenly, his energy does a wonky thing, and then fades to a low ember.

Rey reaches out toward him, her hand coming into contact with his shirt. She hadn’t realized he was that close. “Are you okay?”

_I’m fine._

_What just happened?_

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with,” he says as he moves out of her grasp.

She feels the rejection deep in her bones. She purses her lips and refocuses on the damn droid. She blocks several shots but is stung by more. “Are you still here?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“You’re amusing.”

A huff of indignation escapes her lips. She takes off the helmet and finds him sitting cross legged, watching her. He gestures with his hand for her to continue. She grits her teeth. “You think I’m just gonna let you watch me get electrocuted?”

“You’re obviously fine with everyone else watching.”

So, okay, she’s on the base’s grounds, in plain view of everyone, but most people don’t take a front seat to watch her humiliate herself.

His brows knit together, confusion making itself evident on his usually stoic face. Then it clears suddenly. “I didn’t mean it like that.”  He clears his throat. “I meant, you’re very powerful and it’s… amusing, entertaining… interesting- I don't know the word for it, to watch you grasp at your power, bend it to your will, experiment with it…” he explains, and it’s obvious that he’s uncomfortable and that he hadn’t meant to offend her.

Rey stares at him a long while.

“I’ll go,” he says standing up.

“You can stay,” she says.

But he’s still propping himself up. “Stay,” Rey says, and his legs collapse under him at her will. He falls a bit ungracefully on his bum.

He shoots her a glare that has her laughing.

She puts the helmet back on, a strange warmth spreading from her tummy to the rest of her body at the thought of him watching her.  He’s been at the base for almost six months and this is the longest interaction that they’ve had so far.

“I never thanked you,” Rey starts, “for protecting me. It was unnecessary, but thank you nonetheless.”

He stays quiet for a long time, making Rey think their conversation was over before it actually begun. But then, surprisingly, he says, “Thank you for rescuing me, unnecessary though it was.”

“Oh, had you been about to free yourself out of the shackles and break your way out of the ship? Sorry I interrupted,” she tells him saucily, choosing to ignore the meaning of his words.

She feels the saber block a shot and she jumps a little in celebration.

“You think you’re humorous,” he states, and it makes her lips quirk because he makes it sound like he’s discovered something.

He had been enraptured with her when they had first met, but after that first dramatic encounter and fight on Starkiller base, his interest in her had waned.  It was the opposite for Rey. Ever since he had laid bleeding in her arms, preparing to die, asking to be abandoned, she couldn’t stop thinking about the man. He wasn’t a monster, he was- she didn’t know what he was- and it drove her mad with the need to figure him out.

She blocks another blast but the stupid droid tricks her by shooting her immediately after with two quick shots. _Fuck this!_

Rey grits her teeth. “Did Luke ever have you do this?”

“He had everyone do it. Busted helmet and all.”

“Were you any good at it?”

“I was excellent at it.” There’s no pride, just a simple statement of fact.

“You think you still are?” Rey takes the helmet off again, and bites her lips to keep from smiling at his scowling face.

She plops the helmet atop of his mop of thick wavy hair while he looks at her with a mixture of wariness and curiosity.  He rejects her hand that was trying to assist him up.  Rey scans her eyes over his thick body, from the black regulation boots he’s wearing to the navy pants and beige tunic. It changes him, the clothes, he almost doesn’t look like Kylo Ren anymore. He kind of looks like Han. She’d never noticed that before.  

She places her lightsaber, green one, made by herself, into his hands. It looks odd in his grip, too small, too delicate.   Rey takes a seat on the grass where he had been sitting and assumes the same cross-legged position he’d been in to watch him.

He steps away and engages the droid, the light from her saber casting a glow on his face that makes the scar across his face stark against his pale skin.  He’s relaxed in his movements, his lips soft and pliant as he blocks the attacks over and over with seemingly no effort.

Rey groans. “I’m too old to learn,” she says, falling back onto the soft grass.

She’d gotten better with the Force, but still her success mostly came under extreme duress and not with a willful control of it. It was exhausting to keep reaching for the Force, being able to feel it but not be able to wield it when she or her friends weren’t fighting for their lives.

“Yes,” he says dropping the helmet beside her. “Twenty-one is positively ancient.”

He drops beside her, surprising her yet again. “Is that a sense of humor I detect?”  A smile is curving her lips as she peeks at him speculatively.

“I’m… not sure,” he says, and he too lays down, his face to the blue sky. “The First Order was certainly not the place to explore one.”

Rey turns toward his profile, again skimming her eyes over his features, over the thick hair that’s almost too boyish for his stern face, to the large nose and narrowness of his face. She counts ten moles before she’s distracted by his tongue licking the fullness of his bottom lip.

Ben Solo, she thinks, even knowing he doesn’t go by that name anymore. That he hates it.  She fancies that Ben Solo would have been just as arrogant as Kylo Ren, except it would have been displayed as cockiness, just like his father.  He would have been more diplomatic though, like his mother.

“I didn’t do it for the Resistance,” he volunteers, “not even for my mother.”  He turns to lock eyes with hers, as if he wants to get her to see all of him, all the darkness that blocks out his light. “I was angry, I was always angry, and I wanted to fuck with Hux. That’s how it started. But I continued to do it, not really knowing why. It felt good to watch Hux raving at foiled plans, to lie to Snoak to his face, thrilling that I could do so without detection.”

“I didn’t do it for the Resistance at first either. Neither did Finn. Not at first, and yet here we are. Finn, me and… you.”

His gaze falters against hers and he turns back to look at the sky. “I don’t belong here.”

“I’m not sure I do either,” she confesses softly.

His eyes return to her in confusion. She shrugs. “I’ve no other place to go. And these people, they matter to me, which is why I saved your sorry ass. You helped save the lives of the people on this base regardless of your intent.”

“By doing so I sent others to slaughter, men and women who know nothing but obedience.”

“We can free them,” she tells him. “Give them a choice. Make it so that they’re never just assets again. So they can never be used.”

He sucks in his bottom lip between his teeth in thought. His eyes fleet back to her face, and she thinks she’s overstepped, that he’s going to call her out for her naivety or idealism, but he only nods firmly, his eyes sullen as always, but determination is beginning to shine through.

“How was training with your uncle?” she asks, genuinely curious and wanting to steer the conversation away from such heavy topics.  He’d been taken away by Luke right at his arrival under the pretense of retraining but everyone was aware that Kylo Ren was dangerous and needed to be handled cautiously.  They had come back weeks later looking absolutely fed up with the other.

“It was uneventful,” he tells her.

She snorts loudly. “You mean boring,” she says laughing. “It was sooo boring. Meditate, woeful sermon, meditate, training with the force, meditate, eating in uncomfortable silences.”

He chuckles too, and it does something to her insides. “Yes, that, but with the added treat of convoluted family dynamics.”

“Fun.”

“Not as much as watching your defeat at the hands of a child’s droid,” he says, taking the helmet and handing it to her.

She smirks at him, at the challenge in his eyes.

 

First Mission

Amazing how a simple recon mission could become an excruciating ordeal merely from an inconvenient crush. A crush on a man, she reminded herself, that didn’t even exist except in her overactive imagination. Ben Solo was a ghost, a shadow, a man she only ever caught glimpses of.

It’s ridiculously hard to keep her head around Ren. He’s so big, filling every inch of space wherever he goes, looking at her with those dark eyes that seem to know her every secret. So she blocks him, doesn’t want him to know any of the fuzzy feelings she gets when his large hand wraps competently around the controls of her ship, or when he furrows his brow, or licks his bottom lip or runs his fingers through his hair.

She’s so fucked.

“Rey,” he tells her, “you’re drifting ”

The thing is she’s afraid of losing her grasp of her feelings, afraid she’ll project every one of her silly girlish emotions all over him.  But she nods at him, and shifts her attention back to the base they’re spying on.

It’s on a remote planet that has seen increased activity. She and Ren are there for the sole purpose of getting the lay of it, the amount of personnel, and if possible the purpose of it. It’s heavily guarded, which obviously means there’s something big going on and that there’s no way she and Ren can manage to get in.

They’ve already been there two hours, getting as close as they dare and using their binoculars to gauge an opening or a weakness. He’s frustrated, his anger seeping out of him enough for her to feel it.

He’s the absolute worst possible choice for her to develop her latent girlish feelings on. He’s damaged, and broken, and struggling to find himself again.  Not a man suitable for her. For anyone. Not now and maybe not ever.

But she couldn’t stop thinking of the boy he’d been, preyed upon by an evil lord that had twisted him and broken him. It seemed unfair that the boy should pay the price for the sins of his abuser.  He thinks himself weak for taking so long to realize the deception, for being slow in his response, but all Rey sees is strength.

“Let’s go,” he says, “There’s nothing else to do. We need someone on the inside.”

They make their way to the Falcon, cloaked several clicks away in silence. It’s not an awkward sort of silence, and neither one feels much like talking, considering they’re going back empty handed.  His shoulders are tense and drawn, and she wishes she had the courage to lay a comforting hand on his back.

He’d never allow it.  Their relationship, if it could be called that, is that of colleagues, congenial ones but not overly intimate. He’s a quiet brooding man anyway, not one easily given to easy conversation or levity.

They board the Falcon without detection and make their way off of the planet effortlessly. However, just as they were breaking through the atmosphere, an alarm rang loudly warning them of engine trouble.  Ren grimaces and turns to look at her from his seat at the co-pilot’s position. He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes are obvious in saying, _I told you so._

The Falcon was old and needed a lot of maintenance. Ren hadn’t wanted to take it, wanting instead to bring another newer ship. Rey had adamantly refused.

“I’ll take a look,” he tells her getting out of his seat.

It’s not the first time he’s worked on the Falcon, though he bitches continually about the state of the ship.  She likes that he knows his way around an engine, that he pulls apart and puts back together the intricate workings on droids and ships. Rey would never have guessed that Kylo Ren would be a grease monkey at heart.

He comes back quickly. “Power cells are busted. We’ll make a stop at Bespin before going to the base to pick up the part and fix this bucket of rust.”

“I’d rather just go back to the base,” she tells him.

“Why take the risk? Bespin is closer.”

He sets course for the planet without another word and she grits her teeth. She knows what planet he’s referring to. It’s an overpopulated planet that makes her itch just thinking about the crowded cities. Last time she’d been in a heavily populated area it hadn’t gone over very well.

It had been a while ago. She has better control now, she tells herself as they reach the gas planet.

Rey stays in the Falcon as he deals with purchasing power cells. There’s no problem at first, not as she works in removing the power cells and getting everything ready for the new ones. But once she finishes the effort to focus is becoming harder and harder.

There’s too many people, she thinks, as she slides down to the floor. Everything becomes a jumble, and images and emotions start flashing through her mind in an endless parade. Fuck, she thinks, trying to push everything back, but she can’t. It’s too much.

It hurts.

She tries breathing like Luke had taught her, but she can’t even manage that, too thinly spread, feeling too much for it to be much use.  Rey can’t even bring to mind any other techniques to free her from the multitude of images and feelings she can’t block out. It’s paralyzing, all she could do is sit there, holding her head and moaning at the intrusions.

“Rey?” She feels Ren dropping to her knees in front of her. “Why the fuck didn’t you say something?” he snarls out but he grabs her by the shoulders to shake her gently. “Try to focus on just one person, on one thing.”

Rey is breathing harshly through her mouth, and she can see lights flickering at the edges of her vision. She grabs onto the lapels of his jacket desperately.

“Rey, close your eyes and focus. I’ll get us out soon, I promise. But you’ve got to focus.”

She doesn’t close her eyes, keeps looking at him until all her consciousness narrows to only just him.  He swallows hard and brings his large hands up to cradle her face. “Okay, focus on me. Just on me.” His lips soften their grim position to offer a small smile. “That’s it. That’s my girl.”

Still breathing harshly she grabs onto him harder, burying her face beneath his chin. Stiffly, he runs a hand up and down her back, trying to comfort her.  He’s tense and awkward, his hands not really knowing where to go, one moment on her hair and the next on her back or on her hips.  

She focuses on that, on Kylo Ren, tall as a tree and just as wide, trying to be gentle for her. It’s almost funny, and she holds onto that thought and the feel of his unsure hands on her body.  Slowy, she starts to calm down, to block out everything except for him.  His energy is all wonky again, fluctuating like crazy.  

When he feels like she’s got a semblance of control he releases her with stunted movements.   He pilots the Falcon back to base, power cells forgotten.

The further away they get from the planet, the more she comes to herself.  And the more her embarrassment climbs.  She can’t face him.  Rey had thought that she’d come far enough along in her training that she would be able to handle it. She also hadn’t wanted to appear weak to him.

He’s angry. It’s actually quite discernable.

She’s exhausted by the ordeal, the mission, Bespin, and trying to keep everything compartmentalized. So she just waits in the engine room for when they land.

The landing is rough, and she knows it has to do more with his anger than his skills as a pilot. She hears the doors opening and is shocked when he doesn’t come back to get her. Rising to her feet she goes in search of him.

Rey finds him striding angrily away from the ship. It only takes her a moment to decide to follow him. His gait doesn’t falter, and though she quickens her pace, she’s still pretty far behind him when he finally stops. He’d been after Luke who had been meditating in the clearing they oftentimes used for training.

She catches snippets of what he’s saying to Luke as she approaches, phrases like, “What the hell have you been teaching her…. why even send her out…. you have her training with children’s droids… so much power and you can’t even….”

His words are angry shouts that have Luke’s eyes bulging in restraint. Ren’s anger is tangible, a pulsing living thing that makes his face draw cruelly into an expression Rey hasn’t seen since she first laid eyes on him. More Kylo Ren than Ben Solo.

Ren looks back at her, his eyes flinty in anger, his lips pursing into a firm line. Her heart stutters and flips and all those other things hearts do in Jessika’s trashy novels.

She’s sooo fucked.

 

First Shared Meal

Rey has forgotten how the sand used to burn the soles of her feet, or how the air was thick and dry, smothering her slowly.  It hasn’t been that long, but all this and more she’s forgotten from her life in Jakku.

She makes her way to her former home, the machine only buried a bit more in the sand due to desert winds. She crawls in to find everything as she left it. Apparently even scavengers had deemed it worthless.

Her eyes land on the sad flowers, on the doll she’d made out of scraps and on the metal wall that kept witness of her days in Jakku.  She sits down on the layers of blankets that used to be her bed.

She had left Finn and Ren at Niima outpost without much explanation. They arrived on Jakku in search of a scientist that claimed he had information on the First Order’s breeding programs. The mission had been successful, but it was the first time she had been back in Jakku and Rey had felt a calling to her old home.

She doesn’t know what she’s doing  or even why she’s here glowering at every corner. But she stays. Stays long enough that the sun goes down.

It’s only when she hears someone crawling through the entrance that she realizes that she came with no weapons and hadn’t told anyone where she was going. But it’s Ren who’s crawling through, all that thick hair giving him away even in the dim light of her flashlight.

“What are you doing here?”

“I followed your energy when you didn’t come back by sundown.”  He circles the room slowly, taking everything in.  “I-we were worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” she says. “Just… I don’t know. I wanted to see this place again.”

He’s silent but he takes a seat next to her, on the worn blankets. “I don’t know what to say,” he tells her, his voice grave.

Rey laughs and she rubs her face. “It’s okay.”

“I’ll radio FN-2187.”

“No,” she tells him when he makes a move to leave. “Don’t.”

“I think he’s much more suited to deal with this situation.”

“And that situation being?”

“You. Here.”

“I’m not going to burst into tears, Ren.”  And she laughs because he looks panicked at the mere mention of it. “I might if you bring Finn in and he gives me those eyes. He’ll hug me and I’ll just melt into a puddle of sobs. I guarantee it.”

He settles back into the wall, making Rey smile. “When are you going to stop calling him FN-2187?”

“As soon as he stops calling me Benny.”

She shakes her head at his mulish expression. _Men_.  They sit in companionable silence until her empty stomach makes itself loudly known.

“Let’s get you some something to eat.”

“I have food,” she says, remembering the hidden stashes of portions.  She’s not ready to leave. Not yet.

She feels his eyes on her as she opens a compartment. It makes her feel self-conscious. Not that that’s an unusual occurrence, but if feels slightly different in the small and dimly lit place that used to be her home.

“That is not food,” he says as he watches her dissolve a packet into a bowl she had filled with water from her bottle.

“Kept me from starving,” she tells him.

He accepts the portion she gives him diplomatically, hardly makes a face at all. But when he bites into the bread, he can’t hold back the wince.  He schools his features back into neutral but she can tell it's costing him. He swallows it down willfully.

Rey rolls her eyes at him and takes a bite out of her portion. It’s like dust in her mouth and the flavor, _ugh._ She tries to swallow but it takes her several times. It’s absolutely disgusting.

“It’s awful,” she says.  How had she been able to stomach this? For years.

He’s taking large gulps from her water bottle, being overly dramatic in her opinion.

“I’m so sorry.” Ren makes a face at her apology, grimacing, looking put out and so not him that she bursts out laughing.  What the hell is she even doing here? This is all behind her.  Jakku is not her home anymore, the shell of the imperial walker nothing more than a ghost of her past.   

His bottom lip curves at her laughter. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll get you some real food at the outpost.”

“Ooh, and one those fruity drinks that Poe likes to get me?”

 

First Date

Rey bites her lips as she gazes at her reflection in the full length mirror. She doesn’t look like her. Her eyes are made sultry and her lips swollen by a styling droid. The freckles on her nose have been hidden by an expert swipe of a brush.  Her hair is down for once, unpractical and already making her itch. She’s wearing a dress, one of those trendy asymmetrical numbers that had cutouts on the waist that women in the cities wore. It was a deep red, and so far removed from everything she was that it felt wrong on her skin.

She felt like a fake.

Which is what she’d be on this mission. There were powerful dignitaries from the First Order that would be attending the 10th year anniversary celebration  of the Order’s rise to power. It was her mission to infiltrate the party using her skill in the force and smooch to a particular First Order lackey, a certain Eiua Karr that the resistance believed to be the one that was in charge of the secret base she and Ben had tried to infiltrate.

But she doesn’t think she can do it. They’ll take a look at her and _know._

The dress fits her too tightly, emphasizing her slight curves, but her body is too strong, too tough to look right in such a delicate garment.  Rey looks at herself in the mirror, wishing that her rough upbringing hadn’t left such an obvious imprint on her. The women that she'd seen on cities are soft, she is anything but.

Rey is not a vain woman. She hardly has the time for it.  Her looks are something that have never been on the forefront of her thoughts, but now, as she gazes at her reflection, she feels lacking. And how silly is that? Beauty is an accident of birth, nothing else, and yet she feels the calluses beneath her fingers and wants to groan.  

She can’t do this.

But she has to.

Steeling herself, she walks out of her room and into the cockpit of the Falcon. Three distinct pairs of eyes gawk at her. Rey stands awkwardly before them, resenting their stares and feeling exposed like she had never been before.

Poe dressed formally as her date, lets out a loud whistle, his eyes scanning her from head to toe appreciatively. It makes her feel ill. Finn doesn’t stare for very long, looking away as soon he meets her eyes, and she thinks he’s more embarrassed than she is. Ben holds her eyes, and says, “Took you long enough.”

It makes her laugh and for a moment she forgets her unease.

“Come on,” he says, taking her hand and leading her out the door. Poe and Finn follow behind them.   

“I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispers.

“You’ll be fine as long as you can manage to stop frowning for more than a second.”

She frowns at him.

As she’s tethered to him to deal with this horrendously overpopulated planet she can just detect the smallest amount of amusement. He’d bitched about it of course, at how she clung to him, but he’d strengthened the bond on his end anyway.

“Ren, they’re going to know,” she says, not at all appeased by his amusement.  

He lets the boys pass them as he takes her by the arm, pulling her closer to the walls of the corridor for the pretense of privacy. “Know what?”

“That I’m _me._  I’m a scavenger for fuck’s sake. I look ridiculous in this getup.”

“You’re not a scavenger,” he says harshly. “You were never just a scavenger. And you look-” his eyes remain on her, but he blinks and she feels that wonky thing that his energy sometimes does. “You look as you should. You’ll fit in.”

“Benny, it’s time,” Finn calls out.

“Yeah, hands off my beautiful date,” Poe says, his voice playful as he looks at Rey again.

Realizing he was still holding onto her arm, Ren drops it abruptly. “Do me a favor,” he starts. “Don’t take any shit from Poe and-and- be sure that he keeps his hands to himself.”

“I’ll make sure,” she tells him.  The only hands she wants on her body are his.

“And Rey?” he says when she starts walking over to Poe. “The clothes, they don’t matter, they have nothing to do with your beauty.”

She beams back at him.  It was the absolutely perfect thing to say.

The mission is actually easier than she had thought. Rey gets herself and Poe in with little trouble using the force. She smiles and it works, everyone is in high spirits, drinking and laughing, only the guards are vigilant but they don’t seem to find her suspicious.

In no time she’s located Karr, and she has him eating out of the palm of her hand, and leading her back to his suite at a fancy hotel. Finn and Poe follow. Together they manage to hack into his files, and gather the information they need. Rey finishes up by removing all memories of the encounter.

The trio reaches the Falcon in an ecstatic mood. Ren is working over the holo table, trying to get them off planet without detection by piggybacking on the Order’s signals, the same way they had managed to infiltrate the planet.

“I did it!” Rey says and he looks up from the holo.

He gives her what passes for a smile with him, a slight curving of his bottom lip. “I assumed so, considering you’re all still alive.”

Rey takes a seat next to him. The boys are rowdy and continue to make a racket as they head down to the kitchen area.

“Did Poe keep his hands off you?” he asks.

“I can handle him, Ren.”  

“I didn’t ask if you could handle him. I know you can. I asked if he kept his hands to himself.”

“Poe’s a friend,” she tells him. “No murderous thoughts allowed. But thank you,” she says, and frowns. It’s weird to thank him for wanting to cause someone harm on her account.

“I wasn’t thinking murder, merely a removal of the offending limb.”

She can’t tell if he’s being serious. Rey suspects he is. She forgets sometimes, how ruthless he could be, that in his wake he’s left a trail of bodies. Ben Solo and Kylo Ren, one and the same. But she loves him, rough edges and bloody past included.

“Wanna take a walk with me?” She’s too restless to sleep and he doesn’t seem to be having luck with the signals. Everyone is probably too drunk to leave tonight anyway.

“I would like that,” he says.

But before they exit, he grabs her arm again as he had earlier in the evening. “Would you take that goop off your face first?”

“Ugh,” she says, having forgotten about the inch or so of makeup on her face. She goes to the fresher and scrubs her face clean. She debates whether to change clothes, but decides against it. The dress actually has grown on her. It doesn’t feel so ill-fitting anymore. And she likes the shoes, they make her taller, easily bringing her almost to his nose. Besides, she had spent an endless amount of time having Jessika teach her how to walk in them.

He’s waiting at the exit for her and his eyes soften almost imperceptibly at the sight of her. “There they are,” he says when she’s standing in front of him. He’s gazing at the bridge of her nose and she realizes he’s talking about her freckles.

And this is how she fell in love. Those sweet awkward moments, those little glimpses of him that were so out of character, so foreign to the image he projected, but somehow, some- fucking-how, were absolutely a part of him.    

They’re in a small city far enough from the main hub of the capital city but close enough to get there quickly if the need had arisen. It’s late but there’s still people loitering around the bars and diners where she and Ren are walking. Rey notices that there’s a lot of couples, a lot hand holding and kissing. She and Ren must look like just another couple out on a date.

She’s never been on a date. Not like Jessika has described. In Jakku survival had taken precedence over everything and at the resistance her training and duties took all of her time. There had been a few people that had shown interest at the base, but none that she had been interested in. Until Ren.

Rey grabs hold of his hand, pretending they’re normal people, in love and taking stroll. He squeezes her hand before he interlaces their fingers together. Maybe he’s pretending too.

“Is it because I’m strong with the force?” she asks, “Is that your sole interest in me?”   She doesn’t want it to be just that. Hopes he feels something else other than admiration for her power or an affinity for another fellow force-user.

“No.”

He doesn’t elaborate and she doesn’t press further. It’s enough.

 

First I love You

Rey knows something is wrong when she wakes up with a silent gasp.  She clutches her middle and grunts painfully. She can’t breathe. Something is horribly wrong.   

“Honey? Honey, are you okay?”

Jessika drops down from her bunk. She wipes Rey’s sweaty brow with a steady hand. “What’s wrong.”

“It’s Ren. There’s something wrong with him,” she cries out, trying to rein in her panic.

She tries again for a deep breath, manages a shuddering one, and tries to separate herself from the dread she feels.  He’s on a mission with Finn, they’ve been gone for three days. And there’s something wrong and she can barely feel him-

The comm buzzes in their room. “Rey, Ben has been hurt. He’ll be arriving soon.” It’s Leia’s voice, it sounds strained and anxious.

Rey runs to the comm, “How bad?”

“I don’t know the extent yet… but it feels…”

The general is force sensitive too, of course she would have felt her son in pain. “Come to the medic station. We’ll wait there.”

She rushes over with Jessika in tow. The pilot refusing to leave her side, though Rey can’t really even focus on anything except the gnawing fear in her gut. Leia crashes into Rey when she sees her, holding her tightly, offering her comfort and taking some in return.

It’s an eternal wait. And Rey is close to tears already. Luke is offering support to his sister, and Jessika is holding Rey’s hand and whispering assurances that she hardly hears.

“He’s being brought in now,” a medic informs the group. “He’ll need to be taken quickly for surgery.”

Finn arrives first, looking bloody and battle weary and scared out of his mind. He’s injured too but refuses medical attention, his eyes locked on the stretcher that’s behind him. “Fucking asshole, you better not fucking die, Ben.”

Leia and Rey rise to meet him. He’s conscious still, and he gazes at them through the haze of drugs and pain. Leia holds onto his hand as the medical droids keep taking the stretcher further into the med bay.  Rey reaches out to him with the force, hopes he can feel her.

_Don’t die. Don’t die. Don’t die. I love you._

His eyes shoot to her and some of the haze clears. She nods down at him. “I’m in love with you. So, don’t die,” she says, trying for a smile, but tears fall instead. “We haven’t even kissed yet. And, and, I still haven’t figured out how to make you love me back. You can’t die. And did you hear? Finn called you Ben. You’re going to have to call him Finn now-”

The droids impede her and the general from entering into the operating room and both are kicked out to the waiting area. And it takes forever, and it’s obviously so bad not even full immersion in bacta would do.

Jessika falls asleep on her shoulder, and Finn is pacing the halls, limping and still refusing treatment. Leia is holding a hand to her face, holding on force knows how and Luke is grim and silent, holding onto his sister but looking like he needs some support himself.

“He’s out of surgery,” an exhausted medic comes out hours later to tell them. “He’s resting now. He is stable. It will take several days for him to heal, but he will be fine.”

A wave of relief washes through the group. The General finally lets tears fall and Finn gives a sigh of relief before collapsing into a chair. Jessika laughs and hugs her tightly. Rey reaches over to hold onto Leia’s hand.

She hopes he can feel her, hopes he can feel all of them.

 

First Kiss

He’s fully awake and sitting up alertly  when she goes to sit with him on the fifth day of his recovery. She hadn’t expected to find him thus, as he had been in and out of consciousness all the previous times she had stayed with him.

“Hello, Rey.”

She smiles at him. He does that bottom lip thing and she knows he’s in a good mood. She takes a seat by his side on the bed. “Good of you to finally wake up,” she tells him, but her voice is thick with emotion. “Such a drama queen.”

“I had quite an incentive to do so,” he tells her, his eyes traveling to her lips and then to her eyes.

She remembers her babbling speech. He’s in a really good mood. “Are you high?”

He juts his eyebrows together. “I don’t believe so. I’m on enough medication to dull the pain but I highly doubt it’s affecting my judgement.”

Rey squints her eyes suspiciously. “You’re in an awfully good mood for a man who just days ago had a hole blown through his chest.”

“I have reason to be, don’t I? I’m alive, the mission was a success despite my injuries, I bested FN-2187 when he called me by my name, the wrong one, though I suppose that means I have to call him by his,” he grumbles. “And a girl told me she loves me which has made my mother absurdly happy.  She also promised kisses, this girl, if I didn’t die. I didn’t,” he says, and looks at her lips expectantly again.

“You’re absolutely fucking high, Ren.”

He shrugs. “Pay up.”

She laughs and leans down for a kiss. It’s tender and soft, and lasts much less than she wants it to. But he’s still recovering and high judging from his unusually chatty playfulness.

“Need I remind you? Hole in chest, blood loss, and how many broken bones? Take a look at my chart, would you? I’d like you to know exactly how much I overcame,” his voice takes on an inflection she’s never heard before, almost like a whine.

Rey starts giggling, rubbing her tired face in disbelief. “Have you been taking lessons from Poe?”

But she bends down again, to kiss his full lips, longer this time, deeper. He brings a hand to the back of her neck to push her closer to him, slanting his mouth over hers, hard and hungry. His tongue slides wetly against hers and she moans at the feeling of it, of him, solid and strong and alive.

He breaks the kiss when he feels her tears. She kisses him again, on his lips and his cheeks and his nose, his eyelids and his ears, and his chin. She’s crying, big ugly sobs and he buries her face in his chest, soothing a hand down her hair.

“Please tell me this won’t be your reaction every time we kiss,” he tells her as she soaks the hospital gown he’s wearing with her tears.

“This is the worst time for you to develop a sense of humor, Ben,” she tells him brokenly, but she’s laughing and crying and his arms are around her holding  her tightly and everything is right with the universe for once.

 

First Fight (as a couple)

Rey can’t even look at him. She’s so fucking angry. Ren is looking  at her equally enraged, his face a twisted mask of ire.

“I won’t allow it.”

“You won’t allow it? _You_ won’t allow it?” she says, her voice a surprising screech even to her own ears.

“I will not!” His voice booms angrily through the Falcon.

How had they even spiraled into this screaming match? She had been straddling him, kissing him, his hands on her hips, grinding against him, and she had moaned into his mouth that she had to prepare for her new mission, that she couldn’t stay long. And everything had gone to shit after she answered his questions about the mission.

“What are you planning to do? Lock me up and keep me chained?”

“If that’s what it fucking takes to keep you safe!”

He’s absolutely serious about it, she knows him well enough to recognize the stern set of his jaw and the fire in his eyes.  She’s about to lash out but then his energy does that wonky thing again that she has come to learn means he’s trying to hide the intensity of his feelings.  

“It’s too dangerous,” he tells her.

It suddenly hits her that he’s scared. He’s not acting like a dick to control her or out of sheer obstinacy.  He’s afraid. Taking a deep breath, she tries to tamper her own anger, and the resentment that she feels at his high-handedness. At his utter belief that he even had a right to-

_Shit_

“I’m sorry,” she tells him.

He blinks at her in confusion, still fuming but puzzled at her apology.

“I’ve always been alone. I’ve never had to- I never had to consider anyone else’s opinion. This is new for me,” she tells him, “having my decisions affect some else. I should have told you before I took the mission.”

He sits down, the anger leaving him quickly. “I don’t want you to go. It’s too dangerous. There’s too many unknowns. We know nothing about the base, you’d go in completely blind.”

“We have the plans Karr gave us. We have the layout. We need to neutralize the base. This could be it, Ren.”

“I can’t lose you,” he says, and he’s staring right at her, his eyes boring into her, filled with fear. “I don’t know what I’d do if-”

Rey goes to him, all anger forgotten. She kisses him to stop the words from leaving his mouth. “You have a badass girlfriend that even managed to get the best of you on several occasions. I love you, Ren, trust that I will do everything in my power to get back to you.”

He shakes his head. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Then help make it less dangerous. If we succeed, this could be it. The war could end and we could have a future. Together.”

He closes his eyes, sighs, and she takes the opportunity to reclaim her previous position on his lap. She leans forward to kiss his neck.

 _Cheating_ , his voice says in her head.

Rey laughs as she sucks and nips, feeling him stirring between her legs. She’s new at this too, she thinks, at kissing and touching, but she’s a quick study and he does so enjoy her growing boldness. Hands and mouth that had started out shy and tentative are now firm and skillful, blushes and modesty that he found endearing now gone, replaced by an uninhibitedness that he adores.

_I haven’t even begun_

She smirks at him, her hand drifting to unbutton his shirt. He groans and wraps his arms around her.

“I love you.”

It sounds almost angry, the way he says it, and his arms aren’t gentle in their hold.

***

First Time

It’s over.

The war has been won.

Snoke is gone. The First Order broken.

It means so many things, but all Rey cares about is the mouth that’s fused with hers, drinking her eagerly. All she cares about is that he’s free and that he’s hers. With her hands in his hair, she pulls him impossibly closer, melding her mouth to his, using teeth and tongue, swiveling her hips against his until he grabs onto her butt and hitches her up, her back against the wall.

She’s still in her flight suit and he’s still in camouflage. They’ve barely just arrived on base but they ran to each other and to his quarters. She can’t get close enough and she groans in frustration.

He rips his mouth away from hers, breathing hard, his pupils blown. He drops her on her feet and she mewls in disappointment. “Ben,” she breathes out.

He smiles at her, an actual grin that transforms his face, that makes her fall in love with him all over again. His hands reach for the zipper of her flight suit to pull it down in one quick jerk. There’s no patience as he removes the garment from her body, and she’s desperate as well, growling when the suit snags on her undershirt. Ben pulls at it, ripping it away roughly.  

Sometimes he could be so tender, holding her almost reverently and kissing her with such gentleness that it makes her feel like she’s floating, and other times his hands are hard and bruising. Rey honestly can’t decide what she prefers.

Her undergarments are removed in the same desperate way and then her hands are tugging at his clothes, and they tumble into his bed in a clash of mouths and wandering urgent hands. They are no strangers to each other’s bodies. Despite their missions and the war and their work duties they’ve managed to carve out time for themselves. And she knows the strength of his shoulders and the exact number of moles on his face, the story of every scar on his body, and the way his eyes grow dark and fierce just for her.

There’s no shyness between them anymore. They are beyond that. So she spreads her legs eagerly for him and he settles between them as if they had done this a thousand times. She cants her hips up, feeling him nudging at her entrance. He stops, groans, tries to bring a hand between their bodies.

But she’s had enough of his mouth and fingers, she wants him. She pulls his face down for a sloppy kiss that has him grunting and pushing into her. She widens her legs, bringing one over his hip, telling him without words that she’s ready.

He drops his forehead atop hers asking for permission.

“Yes,” she groans.

Taking himself in hand he pushes in, just a bit, just enough for her to feel the sting and the stretch of her body to accommodate him.  He stops, and she smiles, because she’s been forged by sand and hunger and battle, and this is nothing. The sting burns but it is followed immediately by a sensation that’s greedy and painfully pleasant.

_More._

Ben slides in slowly, his eyes tethered to hers, half awed and half terrified. He sinks into her completely and she gasps at the feeling of fullness. He leans down to kiss her, teeth scraping her lips and her jaw, as he lets her body adjust to him. She loses herself in him, in the insistent throb where they are joined and his loving hungry kisses.

It’s so different from everything else they’ve shared.  He’s inside of her, and he feels perfect and wonderful and sinful. She squeezes instinctively around him, her hips arching against him.

“Fuck,” he says groaning, his expression tortured as he falls onto his elbows. She does it again, and he grips her hip tightly. He pulls out and pushes back in and the slick slide of it has her curling her toes.

_More!_

He laughs, and it’s a tortured strained thing that tugs deep in her belly. Ben complies by going to his knees and bringing her up so that her legs encase his body. More of him goes deeper inside and she can’t help but grunt and grind down.

Grabbing onto her hips as she pushes off and back down, gritting his teeth at her tightness and wetness and the expression of wonder on her face.  She’s moaning and clawing at his shoulders, loving the feel of him inside of her, snapping his hips to meet her, his hard chest against her breasts, and his fingers denting bruises on her skin.

Rey falls apart with his name on her lips, though she can’t quite tell which one she called out. His thrusts become more insistent, more frantic as she flutters deliciously around him and he comes with a low grunt that reverberates in his chest.

He’s tender afterwards, placing soft kisses on her shoulders and hands, running his fingers through her tangled hair. Rey knows he’s conflicted at being her first, knowing he’ll be the only one, and feeling as if he’s somehow cheating her out of something.  She can’t imagine sharing this with anyone else.  She doesn’t feel cheated, on the contrary, she feels lucky that her first time has been with someone that adores her, that loves her in a way that’s mind boggling and that she loves him just as much, that their bond is strong and true and unbreakable.

But judging from the smug smirk invading his mouth, he’s not feeling any of that now. She molds his body to his, and kisses his chest. “I love you, Ren.”

 

First Night in First Home

Rey is woken up by the empty space next to her. She sighs. When he can’t sleep, she can’t sleep.  It’s been some time since he’d prowled restlessly through the night. But changes are hard, no matter how pleasant, and she understands how foreign everything feels.

She walks through the still empty house, devoid of anything except the most needed items. A bed, a table and some dishes. It doesn’t feel like it’s theirs yet, and falling asleep in a new bed while staring at an unfamiliar ceiling proved to be hard. The house feels huge to her, mainly because she’s used to tiny quarters, sharing a room at the base, and a warm cozy apartment in the new capital. There’s too many empty spaces, too many rooms to fill.

She finds him in the kitchen, staring out the dark window.

Rey wraps her arms around him from behind, breathing him in, wanting to meld with him. He’d chosen this place for her, knowing she would love the greenery of the planet, the view of the lake, and the calm low population of the towns. It was perfect.

“Sorry,” he says, his voice soft.

“Don’t be.”

He brings a hand to lay atop where her smaller hands are clutching at his chest.  They don’t need to speak, she knows what’s plaguing him. Regrets and fear, and memories of loneliness and pain, of his father. Thoughts that torture him, telling him he doesn’t deserve this life, not with all the destruction he’d caused.

On the counter he’d placed the fake flowers and the sad doll from her home in Jakku that he had taken when they had been nothing more than fellow soldiers. And now they were here, starting their lives together. “There’s so many rooms, Ben.”

“Only four,” he tells her, and it's normal for him. He grew up in a house much larger than this one. He probably finds it quaint.

“I was just wondering what we’re going to do to fill them.”

Catching the coyness in her tone he turns around to face her, an eyebrow raised in question. They’ve been together for years, and while the topic has come up, they’ve never discussed it at length, always leaving it for later, though she’s aware he’s not committed to the idea. “I want children.”

She knows he’s afraid and has doubts about his ability to nurture and love. And she won’t push him. Not if he really doesn’t want to. But she _yearns_ for a family, for all the things she didn’t have growing up.  In Jakku the idea of bringing life to such a miserable existence was out of the question.  And during the war that seemed like it would never end the thought was nothing but an elusive dream.

But now she’s safe and happy, and stable, and bringing a child into such warmth fills her with a need that she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to quench  if he refuses her. And she won’t subject him to it if he truly doesn’t wish for children and she most certainly won’t allow her child to be unwanted by his father.

He runs a hand through his hair and looks down at her with an expression she doesn’t know how to decipher and an energy that fluctuates between fear and excitement. This is probably not the best time to discuss it, him being so broody, but it’s been eating at her since she saw all those empty rooms and imagined what could be.

“I’m afraid,” he starts, his voice grave, “that any children we have will inherit my ears,” he finishes darkly.

Rey bursts out laughing.  She’s always surprised by his erratic bouts of humor. “I love your ears,” she tells him, giggling like mad, grabbing onto him and kissing his wide mouth that’s twitching at her joy.

“You haven’t seen them on a gawky teenager.”

“Oh, stop.”

His bottom lip curves. “Let’s hope for your dainty ears and your small nose with the smattering of freckles.”

“You sure?”

“That I’d prefer our children to take after you? Most definitely.”

“Be serious.” She laughs at the ridiculousness of what she had just said. He’s always serious.

“I’m sure that I love you. I’m sure that I want to make you happy.”

“Ben-”

“I’m terrified but I’m not opposed to having children, only to subjecting them to having me as a father. I’m not-, I don’t know how to-”

“You love me,” she interrupts him. “I feel it in everything you do. You’d think I’d want to have children if I knew you weren’t capable of love, of tenderness?”

“I’m scared too. I’ve never even held a baby and here I am, wanting one. And it’s…. “ and she starts thinking about all those little things that terrify her, that make her doubt herself.

“We’ll figure it out together,” he says, holding her close. “But, my love, you really thought I’d gotten this house with four rooms for storage purposes?”

Rey’s mouth falls open. “You sneak! I’ve been agonizing for months and you-”

He laughs and it breaks her stride as it always does when she hears his sharp bark of laughter. “Wanna get started?”

Rey shakes her head and giggles, and runs to their bedroom with him following close behind her.

***

First Pet

“What is that?”  Ben says, staring hard at the bundle in her arms.

Rey bites her lips. “It was all alone. And hungry. So I fed it and it followed me and I couldn’t leave it.”

“What is it?” he asks again, staring down and frowning at the creature that’s trying to squirm out of her hold.

“It was raining hard. And it was cold. And it was crying.”

Ben straightens and looks at her, narrowing his eyes. “The sky is clear with no signs of rain and it’s actually a very warm day.”

“What the hell is that thing?” Ben asks again for the third time as the bundle jumps out of her grasp and onto the floor.

She has to admit the little animal does not make a good impression. Its skin is blue and mottled darker in some places. The ears are large and stiff with a nose that’s actually cute but gets ignored because of his large teeth. His four limbs are short and stumpy. But it had been crying, and it had looked hungry, and she had fed it. And someone had kicked it and her heart had broken at the sight of this poor hungry animal being so alone.

The animal shakes his rotund little body, sniffing around their kitchen. He walks over to Ren, promptly lifts his little back paw up and urinates on his pants.

“Well, now we know it’s a boy,” Rey says weakly.

Ben pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Stitch is a good boy,” she tells him. “He was quiet on the way here, and he eats like a real gentleman-”

“You’ve named it?” He says in disbelief.  Rey makes eyes at him, those sad eyes that she knows he can’t resist.  With a deep resigned sigh he looks down at the creature and makes a face at his soiled pants. “You,” he tells Stitch, pointing a large finger at the creature that’s staring at him with rapt eyes, “will behave.”  

Unaware that he was staring at the face of a powerful force user who had once been the scourge of the galaxy, Stitch stands on two legs to lick Ren’s finger.

Ren scowls and Stitch’s tongue lolls out, an expression almost like a grin appearing on the creature's face. Ren breaks first. “Ugh,” he says, breaking the glare to look down at his pants again. He goes to clean up and Rey smiles like a loon at Stitch.

At night Rey makes a bed for Stitch in the corner of their bedroom. But of course, the little creature craves contact and keeps diving back into their bed with obvious glee.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Ben cries out after the fourth time the animal has jumped onto his stomach.

“I think he likes you,” she says, stifling her laugh. “I can certainly see the appeal.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” he tells her, but he doesn’t push the animal off the bed, merely moves him off his abdomen and onto her side of the bed.

“What the hell is it?” he mumbles as he brings her closer, tucking her against his body.

 

First Response

“Rey.”

She grumbles at him, pushing herself under the blankets. The sun is barely even out yet.

“Rey!”

The alarm in his voice makes her snap her eyes  open. She sits up, and Stitch gives her a baleful glare from his position atop Ben’s body. She breathes in deeply, trying to clear the cobwebs of sleep. “What is it?”

“Rey,” he says again, and his voice is filled with awe.

“What?”

“Don’t you feel it?”

“Feel what-”

_Oh. Oh. Oh._

Her hands go low on her belly. There’s a glimmer there, barely detectable.  They had taken out their contraceptive implants months before. At first every month was welcomed with excitement, but as time had passed with no pregnancy they had just shrugged it off.  There was no rush and no pressure. So now it comes as a bit of an unexpected surprise.

Rey searches again, bursting with joy at the feel of that little glimmer that represented life inside of her. And-

_Two?_

“Ben?”

“I know.” The man is actually grinning.  

There had been jokes about twins running in his family, but she and Ben both discarded the notion as complete silliness. But there they were, two little flickers of life. She shudders a breath, happy and scared, and in complete awe.

Ben grabs Stitch in his large hands and swings him up into the air. “You’re going to be a big brother!”

Rey is giggling and crying a little bit too, and Stitch just lolls his tongue out, his grin wide and joyful even though he doesn’t know what they’re so excited about. The little creature (they still haven’t managed to figure out what sort of animal they’ve welcomed into their home) shares their happiness without restraint.

“What about me?” Rey says, and Ben dutifully pulls her close, kissing her wet cheeks.

And then it hits him, and his absolute joy turns to abject terror. “Fuck.”

And she’s laughing harder because he’s so adorable.

Stitch cocks his head in confusion at his favorite human’s change of mood. He bumps his head against Ben’s shoulder and he absently pats the animal's rump. “Two,” he says looking more scared that she had ever seen him.  

“Two,” Rey repeats.

“Force, I hope they have your ears.”

****

_A/N: I’m such a fucking sap._

_A big thank you for my beta-reader_ [ _violetmeerkat_ ](http://violetmeerkat.tumblr.com/)


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